Is An Apology Really Necessary?

Oh, apologies and how we love to receive them. I know when someone has wronged me there’s always this tendency to say to myself, “Don’t worry they’ll need me before I need them. In other words they will come to me at some point to issue their apology because they will be sorry for whatever it is they have said or did to me. While that may be my thought, desire, or wish the reality is that I may never get that apology. In other words, there will not be any discussion, forward movement, resolution, or closure to the situation.

What is an apology really worth? Is it worth the half-hearted and passive aggressive ways that you will now interact with them? Or is it worth plotting their downfall like some cartoon villain? Is it worth the emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical stress that you will endure waiting for apology?

There was a time in my life where it took a whole reset/timeout for me to understand that I did not need an apology to move on from a toxic situation, this included friends and family. Don’t get me wrong I wanted the apology, I wanted the acknowledgement of my feelings, I wanted the other person to accept responsibility for the part they played in my hurt. Instead, I separated myself from the situation and spent a great amount of time a lot of time reevaluating where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be. Over time I realized that waiting on that apology would have only weighed me down and staled my growth and happiness.

Whatever you are going through don’t let the lack of an apology slow any part of your growth.

Lead with love and gratitude,
Nichole Pritchett Hilliard, MS, SC-C

Naturally Lavish Care, LLC

Are You Being Heard?

I will be the first to admit that I have not always been the best listener, and at times I have put my comfort over my ability to be truly be present for others. I am sure that this wall or need for self preservation has found itself in various places in my everyday life, and probably for good reason. As I grew in my professional life, I learned how really important it was to convey to others that I was present, and fully engaged in what they needed to say. As a mediator, life coach, conflict resolution coach, and an all around advocate for learning how to listen effectively here are some tips to help you know if your being heard by those around you:

Do they compare your issue/concern to theirs instead of letting you tell your story?
Do they tell you what they would before you get the chance to finish your story?
Do they shut down or close themselves off when you start to speak?
Do they ask follow up questions?
Do they show care and concern about you or the situation?

The questions above are not an exhaustive list but merely quick bullets points to help you recognize if this is the right person or moment to have this conversation . Words are important, especially to the person that has decided to share their story. It is very important that the person whom you decided to share that story with is attentive and has the bandwidth to support you.

Lead with Love and Gentleness,
Nichole Hilliard, MS, SC-C
Naturally Lavish Care, LLC

Showing Up for Yourself When You’re Experiencing Burn Out

I’m burned out.” I said it with no remorse or embarrassment in my voice. I announced this to a friend of mine not too long ago and I’m happy I did. The statement made me feel free but there was still cleanup work to considered and be done. I needed to better understand how I found myself here and how to get out of it.

Here are some things that I started to do to help my burnout:

  • Stopped taking on task that weren’t mine.
  • Meditated regularly.
  • Made a list of the things that I believed lead to the burnout.
  • Prioritized my mental, physical, and spiritual health.

If you have been working through your burnout what is something that helped you along your journey?

Lead with love and gentleness,

Nichole Hilliard, MS, SC-C
Naturally Lavish Care, LLC

Are Your Affirmations Helping You Slow Down and be Present?

Lately, I have been more focused on slowing down and being present in how I start my days, create my projects, or just the energy I bring into space. I, like many people, start my mornings by grazing over the news and other various topics of interest. The problem is these things, while entertaining, are not necessarily good for me.

So I have begun using affirmations as part of my morning ritual to slow down and be present for my day. I have found that I feel more focused and am welling to stop, rest, and reset when needed.

Use the affirmations above and let me know how they worked for you? Do you use affirmations throughout your day? What are your favorite ones to use?

There you go Lavish Lovelies. I hope that your day, week, month is blessed with love and kindness.

Good Luck and work on yourself with grace, persistence, and love.
Nichole Hilliard, MS, SC-C
Naturally Lavish Care, LLC

Creating Clarity and Building Balance

Creating clarity and aligning my emotional, physical, and spiritual self has been a bit rough lately. Mainly due to the many roles that I fulfill in my daily life. From working full time, being a mother, wife, movement instructor, and starting a business/blog, my plate can get pretty packed.

The truth is there are times that I can be bad at balancing all of my responsibilities, which in turn throws off my ability to stay fully connected to myself. When any of my energies are off, mind, body, or spirit, I feel it. It causes me not to sleep well; it can be hard to stay connected, interested, or focused on a specific task. I can be irritable; I’m not my best self.

What steps do I take to start to rebuild and balance myself? I like to start by taking stock of what I have been committing my time to, for example, coaching, mentoring, and just general support of others. I then look at where I can spend more time taking care and prioritizing myself. Looking at how I care for myself is not always an easy step to take, mainly because I am very dedicated to helping others. Self-care is not one and done; it is a commitment to your mind, body, and spirit that you see worth in who you are.

One easy step you can take towards building balance and clarity as a part of your self-care routine is to journal. Journaling is inexpensive, personal, and allows you to spend time with your thoughts. One of my favorite journal prompts is: What did I do this week that has helped me build my confidence?

There you go Lavish Lovelies. I hope that your day, week, month is blessed with love and kindness.

Good Luck and work on yourself with grace, persistence, and love.
Nichole Hilliard, MS, SC-C
Naturally Lavish Care, LLC

I Tried to Tell You

At the very least, you may have a healthy disdain for me when I say to you, “I told you so.” I used phrases like, “I told you so.”, not because I was trying to put others down, no quite the opposite. I used these phrases because I thought I was sharing my support, brilliance, active listening skills, and what I considered my best trait foresight.

I saw myself as a great friend, and I thought that by using those words, “I told you so.” I was giving those I loved and cared for room to pause and contemplate where they went wrong and how all of this (whatever that was), could have been avoided. I was only trying to help, right? I was a good friend, confidante, and listener only trying to remind them to adhere to my sage advice and voice of reason before it’s too late. Instead, what I conveyed to them was that I judged them more than I supported them.

Where have you made this mistake? Was it supporting a friend when they grieved the end of a relationship? Or when you were entirely right about a situation (personal or professional), but your need to vocalize “I told you so” was out of place?

How do you work on your “I told you so” habit?
Practice active listening skills:
1. Paraphrase,
2. Ask open-ended questions,
3. and ask follow up questions that are specific to the situation or incident.


With respect, acknowledge the event or situation.
Ask what your role is. Are you there to listen, or Are they asking your advice?

Good Luck and work on yourself with grace, persistence, and love.
Nichole Hilliard, MS
Certified Life Coach
Naturally Lavish Care, LLC

If you would like to work on your active listening skills together. Please complete the form in the contact me page.

My Meditation Journey

I’ll start by saying that my need to replay incidences both uncomfortable and negative in my head is what led to my meditative journey. Before meditation, I did not have a clear process that helped me to make sense of what I choose to focus my mind on, and why I choose to place the energy there. My productivity, emotions, and ability to just make it from one day to the next was controlled by memories that I had rather forget.

I can’t remember the exact moment that I learned to meditate or even how it was presented to me, but I can recall the moments in my life when it has benefited me the most. One instance that comes to mind is when I was a freshman in college. I was struggling horribly within my major of study, music. As a young black female, first-generation college student who had chosen a major based on the scholarship that I had received from the institution. I was so excited, but soon I realized that I was way out of depth. I missed my family and friends and I struggled with my major. I felt like a failure and my overall college experience was more then my young heart could handle.

I was overwhelmed and had only my reoccurring thoughts or failure going through my head. I tried going counseling, but my counselor quit (at a later date I would have to reconcile with myself that this was not my fought) and I was left to my own devices. I wrote in my journal but I didn’t feel like I connected to the story that was being written on the page. So I decided to sit in stillness, in silence and this became my foundation. Once I became used to the stillness I learned to let my feelings and thoughts flow with ease and instead of ignoring or judging them I honored them, by letting them be.

Meditation is now part of my daily ritual and has been for years. There are plenty of times that I have a hard time getting to the silence and stillness that I crave. In those moments when I can’t find peace that is when I find that I need to pay attention to what’s being brought before me and why.

How have you brought mediation into your life? What have you beneficial about meditation? If you have not, try it and tell me about?

Work on yourself with grace, persistence, and love
Nichole Hilliard
Certified Life Coach
Naturally Lavish Care, LLC